Getting on the property ladder is often presented as a mammoth event. After all, what’s better than having your own four walls to call home, and crucially, not having to negotiate with a landlord or share with flatmates?
Sometimes though, you’re not left with fireworks after you pick up the keys – only slightly sour feelings of underwhelm. Plus, the thought of that first mortgage payment leaving your bank account is always terrifying.
This was the exact experience of one slightly disgruntled Redditor, who started looking at properties with their girlfriend a couple of months ago.
But after putting in their first offer – and swiftly having it accepted – they couldn’t help but feel ‘scared.’
‘[We] only found four houses worth looking at. Last week, we saw something we both liked and put an offer in,’ @rynr96 penned in the r/HousingUK Subreddit.
‘The offer was accepted yesterday. I thought we would both be buzzing, but we aren’t.’
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Though they both like the house, they don’t ‘really know’ the area, as it’s ‘half an hour away from where we both have lived and grown up for 30 years.’
‘We’re both scared but I guess we both are having the “is this the right decision” thoughts as this is our first house, even though it checks all of our boxes,’ they added, noting that while they have plenty of ‘amazing plans’ for it, it all feels ‘a little daunting now.’
They weren’t alone. In the comments section, homeowners recalled their own experiences of buying their first home, and one even said they had ‘major regret’ afterwards.
‘[I] didn’t expect to feel regret at all, but it was there the second we opened our door with our own keys for the first time,’ @SouthComplaint9628 recalled, labelling it a ‘common’ feeling.
However, two months down the line and they’re delighted with their new home – and feel ‘in love with the house the same way I was when we put an offer in.’
When @lazy_athena had their first offer accepted last year, they instantly called their boyfriend and had a ‘full-on crying session down the phone.’
‘It’s a very emotional time and difficult to think clearly, but I always tried to think back to before we started looking and remembering that this was what I wanted back when I was rational,’ they said.
For @Designer-Computer188, they were ‘terrified’ and ‘drained’ when they first bought – and subsequently went on a ‘rollercoaster from the fear and homesickness.’
‘Friends and family members will convince you that you should be buzzing like a cheerleader but it is not always the case,’ they added.
Is it normal to feel underwhelmed after buying a home?
So, why might you go on an emotional rollercoaster after pouring your life savings into a new home? As CEO of Yopa Verona Frankish tells Metro, it’s ‘completely normal’ to feel a little underwhelmed – and somewhat scared.
‘Having tackled such a long-winded process, you find you’re only part of the way there when it comes to your journey up the property ladder,’ Verona says.
Homeownership has often been labelled one of the supposed tick-box pillars that Verona says has ‘formed our idea of societal success.’ But that’s not always the case – and it isn’t always plain sailing.
‘The road to homeownership is a long one that can be fraught with delays, stress and unforeseen costs, and so while completing often brings feelings of jubilation, it’s completely normal to feel underwhelmed once you reach the finish line,’ Verona explains.
How to avoid buyer’s remorse
So, is there anything buyers can do to avoid remorse and regret? As interiors expert Liv Conlon, CEO of ThePropertyStagers and StagerBoss previously told Metro, it’s important to first clarify the non-negotiables.
‘Before starting your search, make a list of your must-haves as well as your nice-to-haves. And consider your future needs: Will you be starting a family? Working from home? As these might mean you outgrow your home quickly,’ Liv shared.
And so, before you buy, try to ‘live like a local.’ Spend time there at different times of the day, whether by visiting the high street for a coffee at the weekend, pursuing the local shops, or even trying out your possible commute on the way home from work.
When it comes to buying a new home, it’s all too easy to romanticise it all, falling in love ‘with the aesthetics’ but overlooking the practicalities.
‘Look at closet space, kitchen storage and the overall flow of the home to ensure it fits daily needs. Think practically – even turn on the taps to ensure there is decent water pressure to meet your needs,’ Liv added.
Finally, do the ‘regret test.’ Imagine living in the home for a year and picture your daily routines. How do they fit?
‘More often than not, you may have overstretched financially, which means you’ll have to cut back on other expenses such as holidays or new purchases for the foreseeable future.’
At the same time, first-time buyers might often face ‘many months of renovations before their property becomes their ideal home’ – which does little to combat these complex feelings.
Amongst all this though, Verona says ‘the key thing to remember is that you now own your own property which is a huge achievement.’
‘You now have the freedom to make it your own home, not to mention the fact that your monthly mortgage payments are only adding further equity to your investment, rather than paying rent to someone else,’ she adds.
‘But there’s no shame in renting, especially today when renting into later life has become the norm. So, if you’re not ready to tackle the housing ladder, don’t rush to do so just because you feel like it’s the done thing.’
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